brandnewswastikas: I like it when a girl has a food stain on her shirt because it means that she’s bad with spoons and will probably need me to feed her and I’m good with spoons so it will give me a chance to show off a little.
thebeatlesordie: sometimes I make fun of bieber or 1d fans for how ridiculous they look when fangirling/stalking them but then I remember beatlemania and… how one time a girl almost died because she tried to mail herself to the beatles in a huge box beatlemania was and is seriously insane
eyeslikecominghome: a commercial for dominos was just on and i guess i was lovingly staring at the tv because my mom says to my dad “i wish you still looked at me like haley’s looking at that pizza”
megaman2: megaman2: “mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?” “no, i said she was fucking goofy” please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
thechampagneandthestars: people from other countries think that the UK is filled with beautiful, posh, benedict cumberbatch type humans, when in reality
holynipples: holynipples: my throat is kinda irritated let me google it and see what’s up i have a brain tumor
What I think when kids in my class read
That’s a PERIOD, NOT A COMMA That’s a COMMA, NOT A PERIOD Why the hell can’t you pronounce that word? THE TEACHER JUST CORRECTED YOU WHY’D YOU GET IT WRONG AGAIN?!?!?! Can I sleep? If you can’t read, why’d you raise your hand? You can’t pronounce THAT word? WHAT THE HELL The fuck you like long ass paragraphs for My skin’s crawling Oh god not him, his voice sounds like a dying nail on a...
brandisbigbootybitches: im gonna make a movie that’s titled “WILL SOMETHING SCARY HAPPEN?” and it will feature an hour and a half of someone walking around their house in the dark doing various things that COULD be the prelude to something scary but nothing actually scary will happen until after the credits when spooky scary skeletons will play
this is a follower appreciation post because if you think about it when 1 person follows you it’s not just a number it’s like a whole real person who breathes and eats and hits its pinky toe into furniture i mean it has legs and everything DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH OF A BIG DEAL IT IS
alwaysbelieveinfutures: tincanlantern: The kiwi Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs I am 300% done with you guys.
coffeeandcheesecake: thereichenbachfinn: remember that time in high school musical 2 when Troy got all jealous because Gabriella started hanging out with Ryan and he thought Ryan was moving in on her and it was like really troy really really yeah if Troy had just taken a look at what was actually going on he would have seen who Ryan was actually interested in THEY ARE...